“We accept the love we think we deserve.”-Stephen Chbosky
I was a man’s fool once, it took me a really long time to break free from those chains but I learned my lesson. It was a lesson that was well imprinted in my life, and a mistake I vowed to never repeat again. I know what it’s like to ‘love’ someone to the point where you are willing to give up your entire life for them. I know what it’s like to try to please them in every way possible to the point where your own needs are put aside. I know what it’s like to make someone else the center of your world. I did it, just like the movies, the TV shows, and society say to, I was fool number one. And I will tell you this, although I did have moments of ‘happiness,’ deep down inside I was miserable, I was in a relationship yet I still felt all alone.
I gave all of me in exchange for a little piece of ‘love,’ I was a prisoner of this illusion I called ‘love.’ I sacrificed all sorts of things and put up with all sorts of nonsense just to make sure that he was happy, I did things I never thought I would do and told myself I wouldn’t, but when reality hit, I did the complete opposite, I broke my own rules for him.
I eventually broke free from this illusion and little by little started to pick myself up, I was on the verge of losing my identity just for this person. Something in me kicked me awake and I started to find in me what I sought in him. I started to see that I had what I begged for from him. Things started to change and I no longer succumbed to his every whim, he of course didn’t like this and that’s when the relationship started to really fall apart. It took a couple of tries to break free but I did it.
I have a God that I serve and as a result of that I’ve never gone back and am eternally grateful for my freedom. I decided to break free from that endless cycle of misery that I was headed straight toward just like my parents. I see people do it all the time, they beg for a piece of ‘love’ in exchange for their self-respect, their freedom, but how could they do anything else if that is all that they know? It is what is comfortable for them so time and time again they choose poor relationships, different faces yet similar traits, someone who sucks the life out of them in exchange for a piece of ‘security’ or ‘love’ as they like to call it. If these people were to see that God/the universe/creator will put the world at their feet if they merely change their focus of affection then there would be a chance that they would leave these unhealthy relationships.
Life changes when you wake up to your own awesomeness, when you see that your higher being has an immense immeasurable amount of love for you. Love is not suffering and misery, love is free, love is giving, love is peace. Only when we surrender to our creator will we see what true love really is, there is no need for drama in love, love just is, so let it be.