Grief is handled differently by each individual just like trauma, as much as human beings are alike, we are also unique. This may be a bit too much to handle for those with linear thinking, however, it’s the way of the universe. How an individual handles grief depends on what kind of grief they are going through, if it concerns the death of a loved one, their perspective on what death is will affect them accordingly. If, however, they are grieving a traumatic moment, that will require one to become vulnerable and brave at the same time because they will have to go to the past and uncover old wounds to heal them.
The thing about grief is that an individual must be willing to participate in its process, that means going through its ebbs and flows just like water. This requires one to feel, feel everything to its depth- this is where some people get stuck because it’s not easy to feel these feelings, it’s painful. If, however, an individual(myself for example) has a strong spiritual background, they are able to maneuver through these moments a bit easier(a bit).
One thing that I have grieved was the loss of my childhood, I’ve had to grieve that in order to properly let go of the idea that I can rescue what is in the past. This does not mean that I do not honor my inner child, it just means that I am able to be at peace with the past and let it go. Grieving has also allowed me to integrate myself into the present moment and be at my current stage of life. In this manner I am able to be fully alive and enjoy my life and not look back with regret. There are many who remain stuck in a child-like mentality and therefore react in childish manners to life circumstances that an otherwise well integrated adult is able to handle more maturely. They are unable to take responsibility over themselves and their actions and tend to live unhappy lives.
By grieving we are able to liberate ourselves and move forward in life. We were not created to suffer for eternity and be condemned to misery, we have the ability be renewed everyday if we so desire it. There are many stages in life and sometimes they require grief in order to move onto the next level, but as the Buddha has so mercifully said, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”