When we hear of sexual abuse and harassment it usually involves a man harming a woman, yet sexual abuse has no gender, it can happen to anyone, and it does. I’ve been witness to a woman sexually harassing a man at a social gathering, although it looked like fun and games, the gentleman that was being harassed really wanted nothing of that sort. I know so because he voiced his feelings on the matter to me and I could tell that it bothered him. Why was nothing done? For one thing, it’s not socially ‘cool’ for a man to complain about a woman groping him, and on another hand, this woman was really liked by the community.
What I’ve found after talking to several men is that they often stay quiet when it comes to sexual assault, they don’t tell anyone about it, and for some(if not all) it’s something that they feel shame about. This kind of secret is what slowly kills them inside; I know from personal experience what it’s like to carry that kind of burden. I feel as though men don’t have a ‘safe’ space in society where they can openly, without judgment, give voice to their pain and their emotional struggles- and in case this is news for some because it was news to me until a couple of years ago- men have emotions too. This was a surprise to me since I grew up with an emotionally absent father and didn’t have a male figure in my life to look up to. The only thing I knew about men was what was shown on the T.V. and that was not good at all.
I believe this is one reason why many men cannot break from their addictions; they have no outlet to feel safe in, to be vulnerable in. Not everyone can afford a therapist, some are ashamed to even go see one, and others cannot admit they have a problem. It is also true that some men don’t want to feel their feelings so they numb them out to not have to feel the pain of their trauma, yet that’s the only way to heal. We must feel our way through the pain in order to get to the root let it go and bring light to it. Unfortunately, many men commit suicide and don’t ever solve their problems.
What is really under attack in our society? Is it men? Women? I believe that love is under attack, when we lack the empathy to see the pain in another human being, to see them, fully see them as they are we lose touch with who we are with our whole purpose of being on this planet- love. Life without love is empty if we don’t share love we become empty, if we don’t let love in, we are empty. Can we learn to put our egos aside to hold space for someone in pain? Can we allow them to be human, to be vulnerable, to love them? Sometimes we must do what others did not do for them, we must play the role of mother to those who did not have a mother, father to the fatherless, sister, brother, so on and so forth. We don’t have to be blood-related to share love. Love is one of the most underused and free resources in life, many, unfortunately, are disconnected from it.
We have become so distanced from our origins, from the fountain of love that we attack one another, we bring others down rather than lift each other up. What are we without one another? Are we all not created by the one God, the One light, the One source? Can we remember that we are all in this together, one planet, one people? Life is abundant; it is our distorted perception that has brought us down from the kingdoms from which we come. We must constantly, at every turn, choose our highest truth, our highest light, the truth above all truths. It is only then that we can see the unity of all, the abundance, the light; we must break free from the illusion in order to heal and uplift one another. Can we help each other? Can we stop the senseless fights, the ego fights, and let love win?
This is no longer about us versus them; this is us, ALL of us brothers and sisters. We have all been hurt but pointing the finger at one another is not going to solve anything, letting our ego lead the conversation will only continue this cycle of pain, the cycle of hurt, we must allow our reason to be balanced with love because without love nothing matters. Without love, there is nothing. Can we let love win? Can we allow more love in our life, more love in our conversations, more love in our words? What is real can’t ever be destroyed, and love- in my humble opinion- is the only thing that is real.