Sibling rivalry is common in many households, I remember feeling less loved because my sister would be the one to receive gifts and not me, she would be the ‘good’ child and I the ‘bad’ one. The dynamic between siblings can be rather challenging to address since each one has a different point of view on similar events. This can also change depending on how many siblings there are in a family.
As the eldest in the family I can say from experience that I was the guinea pig for my parents, they had to learn how to parent me before they parented my siblings. I feel as though they were gentler on the younger ones because of this. I took on more responsibility than my siblings, especially because one parent was absent a lot. Naturally, I would be mean and strict with my siblings; I passed down what I learned onto them.
Once I matured and healed from the past I learned to be nicer to them, to have more respect for them. How I treated them had nothing to do with them, it was just what I learned from my parents, which wasn’t very healthy. I simply wanted the best for them, and still do, however, now I take my hands completely out of their lives. I no longer say anything after I’ve already addressed it once because I respect them as adults even though I may not agree with what they are doing.
My family had a difficult time accepting the ‘new’ me, they were so used to the ‘old’ me that it threw them off when I didn’t act or react the way that I once did, they were used to treating me as the villain. Sometimes we get so caught up in our roles that we forget that we can change, that things don’t have to be the same all the time. Change isn’t easy, especially for those who like things to stay the same all the time.
I’ve learned to agree to disagree with my siblings, that no two paths are the same, so I walk my path and just let everyone else be.