“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”-Thomas Jefferson
There was a time in my life where I would lie to my parents in order to do what I wanted to do-I did this because I knew that if I told them the truth they wouldn’t allow me to do what I needed to. They weren’t reasonable people either which made the situation worse; they grew up in a different culture with different customs. Living in the U.S. there is a different lifestyle-one which I felt they failed to understand-more often than not I felt misunderstood by both parents. This then started a snowball of more lies on top of more lies. It got to a point where it was one huge tangled ball of lies and I didn’t know what to do-I knew that if I told the truth I would be judged and criticized- as was customary for my family.
Little by little I started to unravel one lie after another or just totally avoid the pressing questions from family just so that I wouldn’t have to tell a lie. Slowly I started to feel better, it was a huge weight taken off my shoulders having to remember what story I told who and to keep that fabrication going on, telling the truth was simple.
It is this very act of honesty that helped me come out of an unhealthy relationship several years ago and continues to aid me in being true to myself. Honesty, it is the one virtue that I’ve seen many relationships lack-it can either make a relationship or break it apart. But honesty with oneself is of utmost importance, because if we cannot be honest with ourselves then it is less likely we will be honest with others. Once I was able to look at potential partners with honesty I was able to see that certain people would only bring me into their drama and would not be good partners. As much as I liked some men, I practiced self restraint and pulled myself out of getting into serious relationships with them.
For me, time was also important, I spent several years nurturing a relationship that was not healthy for me. Because of this I chose not to waste time with someone I knew I could not accept as a partner-all of this has helped me stay out of a lot of unnecessary relationships with the opposite sex.
The problem that I always see in couples is that they get stuck in the fantasy rather than see the reality. They see someone through the eyes of illusion and ignore all the warning signs that they aren’t good for them. But in the process they sacrifice their time and their worth, they settle for Mr./Ms. Ok rather than wait for the right one. They play the clock game that society imposes and settle down for the sake of time rather than honoring their hearts.
If you want to live a life with less bumps in the road, practice being honest, it will attract real people into your life and keep imposters away.