“If we get our self-esteem from superficial places, from our popularity, appearance, business success, financial situation, health, any of these, we will be disappointed, because no one can guarantee that we’ll have them tomorrow.”-Kathy Ireland

Self acceptance is something I continue to grow in. I had a moment of awareness recently when I asked a friend if he wanted to join me somewhere, I realized that I was afraid he would say ‘no.’ I then asked myself where this was coming from and I traced it back to childhood. That’s where a lot of my conditioning began and where I’m learning to release it.

My father was absent a lot, and when he was home I felt that he favored my sister over me. My mother was not nurturing, she did the basics-fed and clothed me-but that’s it. I felt unwanted in these relationships which is where my need to feel accepted comes from. I’ve been learning to go inside for all that I need, to love myself, to accept myself, but most of all look to the creator who gives me the light with which I live.

This lesson has been one of the most challenging ones because I am used to looking outside, for what I feel is missing inside, but I remind myself that I was given all that I need inside of me. I know that I will be presented with more challenges until I learn to release the need for acceptance outside of me, but I know I can do it-one step at a time.