“The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.”-Steve Maraboli
I often hear the words, ‘I let him’ or ‘I let her’ which infers control over another person, especially in romantic relationships. I caught myself doing this while I was on a hike with my brother recently. Because I have a close relationship with him, his well being concerns me a little more than normal; he was going to do something which I thought was a little scary. However, reflecting on this further I realized that my fear had nothing to do with him, but rather it was a projection of my own thought process, my own doubt. I was trying to control my feelings of fear by prohibiting my brother by doing something, which in his own mind, was probably safe.
What is really going on is that, all too often, we try to control people, when in reality we have very little to no control over others. And those that do play the control game end up leading very stressful lives full of fear. The only control that we ever really have is with the world within us, yet it is the most challenging one to conquer. Yet I’ve noticed that when I release this need to change things outside of my control, life just runs smoothly, effortlessly. Life is peaceful when you don’t need to control things, when you have faith that all is in the right order.
Watch your thoughts, see how often you catch yourself trying to control someone, it may be the waiter who may be doing things too slow and you want to rush them, or you may be giving someone advice about their career which you yourself really need. Turn it around, look in the mirror; it could really be you you are talking to.