Rules of engaging an introvert


  1. Don’t ask really personal questions in a group setting.

It is difficult enough to open up one on one, but to ask something personal about their life in front of a group is a major no no. If you really care about this person, pull them to the side and tell them that you really care and would like to know how they are doing. They will appreciate this much more than putting them on the spot in front of a group of people whom they may not feel comfortable around.

  1. Do not lecture them in front of others.

If you feel that what they are doing is unbecoming of them, then talk to them separately and explain your point of view. Talking about their areas of growth in front of others is detrimental to their, already injured, self esteem.

  1. Do give them space.

Sometimes they are just feeling out the atmosphere and need a minute to settle. Practice sensitivity and know when to back off.

  1. Do feel free to introduce yourself to them.

In spite of the fact that they may seem aloof, they may really like for someone to engage them in a meaningful conversation. Ask them about their hobbies, you may be surprised at how passionate they are. Often time introverts prefer meaningful conversations over the common chit chat.

  1. Do follow up.

If you really liked this person then follow up with them, ask for their contact information. Sometimes they simply don’t know how to reach out or are too shy to, help show them the ropes, who knows, you may make a lifelong friend.


This is a list I composed of based on personal experiences and also observations I have made of other friends who are introverts. I hope it will help you understand a different point of view. Feel free to add anything I may have missed.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.