“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”-Oscar Wilde
Through experience, and friendships as well, I have witnessed people engage in romantic relationships that do not serve their well being. The partners that they choose do not show them the level of love and respect that promotes a healthy relationship. One reason for this is because of the role models that they grew up with in life, primarily their parents, who do not model a healthy kind of love. It then becomes like an endless circle, generation after generation, of poor relationships. Another reason is because of the lack of self love and self respect that the individual has for themselves, they do not feel that they are worthy of anything better, therefore they settle for the scraps from the floor. It is only after an individual chooses to break this cycle that a new model will prevail, though it requires a great amount of will to do so. As children we witness how our mother is treated by her partner and thus we learn how to treat our partner based on what we have witnessed, which typically, is not healthy.
It is when individuals decide to stand up for themselves that the transformation begins. When people decide that they will no longer tolerate abusive, disrespectful relationships will their partners start to see that their behavior is not acceptable. The partner will then be forced to look in the mirror and make a decision to either change their behavior or forfeit positive relationships with strong, healthy, happy people.